Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Potty Training

Elliott is rocking the potty training bit!

I'm not expecting miracles or anything, but we've had two nights in a row with a dry diaper. He sometimes still wets his diaper or undies, but more and more he's figuring out that he needs to go ahead of time and getting his pants and undies off in time. We're working on his aim, since at least in one of our bathrooms he insists on peeing standing up. It's a work in progress, but improving.

The biggest thing for me is watching how independently he is doing this. For the last year, I have been so, so ready for him to potty train. I've encouraged, pushed a bit, then backed off. Over and over. I made a potty chart, not with the intention to potty train completely, but to motivate him to connect potty and pee. Not sure if it really worked, but he really liked it.

But right before our move he started showing real signs of being ready. With the move, I was fairly pre-occupied with, well, moving, so I wasn't pushing. I was excited when he did go on the potty, but potty training was on my list of things to concentrate after the move.

Then, after the move, I noticed he was running to the potty more and more. But he didn't want my help, he wanted to do it himself.

So now I find myself standing behind a closed bathroom door, or if I am lucky, standing in the doorframe of an open one, asking questions like, "Are you done?" NO! "Do you need my help?" NO! "Do you need me to wipe your bottom?" NO! I do it myself!

ahhhhh....

So, he wants to do it all on his own (I do insist on helping with the wiping, though... as much as he wants to do it himself. I tried letting him do it on his own today... and let's just say he's really not ready...)

And I was thinking about the push to do things in our society. The push to wean, the push to potty train, the push to this and that. And I started thinking about how frustrated I would get when I wanted him to be ready and to do something and he wasn't. And I realized that every single time I've tried to push him into something (even gently) it turned horrible. I end up being an insane stress case, he's upset and starts acting out... it is never a good situation. But, I let go, find my MamaZen as I like to call it, and wait it out. Wait for him to be ready, to make the first move, when I let it be his own accomplishment, it is amazing.

Like now. It is so amazing to see him figuring this out. He's happy, he's excited and it is ALL HIS OWN. I can't take a bit of credit in this process. It has been all about him. I've only been a cheerleader, given minimal guidance (lifting the seat when peeing standing up, small stuff like that), and been his support staff waiting in the shadows for my next opportunity to help.

Without fail, every single time I've been able to let it happen, it has been so positive. It has been a positive experience for all of us, and most of all, it has been positive for him and he is able to OWN the entire experience. I love that.