Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Bear with me, catching up on my random last couple of weeks.
Gosh, this blog has just begun and I'm already neglecting it! Yikes.
What can I say about life these days. I've been a SAHM officially for a bit more than a week. It's going well, although it is hard to really get a real idea of how our day-to-day life is going to go at this point. Most of the time has been vacation time for Nate, so I've spent a lot of time hanging out with both my boys, which has been great and made me realize (again) how much we have needed more time together.
Part of that is that Nate and I have really developed our own parenting styles and ways of doing things. Not that it is a bad thing in itself, I really think I could learn a lot from Nate, but we now have to figure out how to become parents TOGETHER. Most of our parenting hours have been spent apart, on our own, so it'll be interesting at the least to see how it works for us.
I've had a few panicky moments here and there. Sometimes about leaving my job and becoming destitute. Other times about feeling forced back into the workforce before we're ready, or possibly about feeling pressure to start working on having a second child before we're ready because of going back to work pressures. But then I have to force myself to take a deep breath and remind myself that I can be in control of all that. Well, with Nate, of course. But that if our family needs more time, we can take the time, and that's a very, very new thing for me.
I've also been trying to be more introspective. I know I have my faults and in a way, I think my career played on the worst and best of those. I'm an intense person. I like action, I like noise, I like to talk. I like making lists and getting it all done. I like learning from others, I like it all. But, I realize that those same things can make me a difficult person to be around sometimes. I can be too intense, have too many questions, can get myself into trouble when I have too much to do and I won't give any of it up. I have a hard time just being quiet and still. There's still a lot for me to learn. Is it possible to re-evaluate yourself and make changes at 31? I think it can happen. I hope it can. Both for my own sanity and health and for those I care about around me.
Becoming introspective, for me, quickly becomes a slippery slope. That, I'll have to work on as well. Only look closely at one thing at a time. That can be a whole blog post.
Stuff in our lives. Hm. Here is where I get random:
-We're looking forward to Costa Rica for Ryan and Heather's wedding. Actually, I'm just DYING for our trip to come. Still have time to plan, though. I need a new swimsuit, Elliott might need a wetsuit top thingie, new outfits for the ceremony, decide whether we will purchase or rent a DVD player, on and on and on....
- Trying to figure out when to get back to Montana. Elliott and I are going to try for a trip, just the two of us, sometime soon, maybe in February, while Nate will join us for a summer trip. We're thinking about taking our first family ROAD trip to MT this summer. Whoa. 9 hours of driving with a toddler probably equals 18 hour trip total? We'll see. But we're looking forward to it at any rate.
- Elliott is a swimming fool. Which I love. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. Our next session of lessons begins tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it.
- Doing a lot of cooking and baking these days. I need to get the sourdough starter my BIL gave me started going. It's nice. I feel a little more balanced on the days we have a good meal together. Plus, Elliott loves baking with me. It's fun. I scoop (he helps), he gets to dump, then, the best of all, when we're finished with something (like a measuring cup), I let him throw it in the sink. He tosses with GUSTO! We've had a few broken items because of it, so I have to make sure I clean the breakables out of the sink first.
- I ran into a couple of co-workers on Saturday. I was leaving the Red Cross after a platelets donation and I first saw the reporter, Al, but we didn't get to chat because he was on a beeline for the bathroom. Then, I was about to pull out of the parking lot and I saw one of the photographers packing up his bag after shooting pics of a big family that has been donating blood together for three (maybe 4?) generations. We chatted for awhile. It was great to run into him. I had wondered when I would see a former co-worker out on the job. Anyhow, it was funny to see them, but also kinda strange to realize that had I not left my job a week ago, I very possibly would have been there shooting that story and would not have been giving myself. Ah, I think it was best the way it was.
- We had snow last week! It was great! Elliott, Bear and I rushed out to the park after Elliott's nap to get a bit of playing in before it all melted! He loved riding in the sled and eating the snow. It was such a joy for me to be able to take Elliott out and have fun! rather than being at work, fighting traffic and rushing to find that weather shot before it gets too dark. Much, much relieved. But, of course, there's another side to the whole thing. Nate had an awful, awful, awful time getting home. It was pretty stressful for both of us. Me, because I was so worried, but didn't want to call him and distract him from driving carefully, him because he was out there. All in all, after detours and such, it was a 4.5 hour commute. He came home safe and neither he or the car was scratched. Good stuff, in the end. But WOW! what an ordeal!
- trying to get a run or walk in a day. Not easy, but this week our lives seem to be a bit slower than they were last week, so I'm hoping to make it a regular thing.
- re-establish relationships I have neglected due to my crazy mom/work/wife life. Now that life is more streamlined, I feel more flexible and ready to work on those relationships.
- Elliott loved his Christmas gifts. But the guitar was a love at first sight (or strum?) Maybe we have a little musician on our hands?
- Elliott is BIG HUGE LOVING Daddy right now. I kinda feel left out, but I also have to keep reminding myself that this is NORMAL and I am grateful to have Nate, he's such an amazing husband and father. I don't blame Elliott at all for it, but have to admit it's hard hearing, "Daddy? Daddy come home? Daddy in VW? Daddy in Volvo? Daddy at work? Daddy? Daddy? Daddy?" all.day.long.
Well, I think that's about it for now. I hope to be more thoughtful, more entertaining and maybe, better at writing what I want to say, but for now, this'll have to do.