Little guy

Elliott self-portrait at his first Globetrotter's Game at the Rose Garden.

Elliott holding his hands over his ears as he acclimates to the noise level in the Rose Garden.

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Well, I decided it is darn tootin' time I updated everyone on what our little guy has been up to lately. And I'm gonna warn you, this post is fueled by 2 glasses of wine, if I get sappy or seems a bit choppy, well, I'm not apologizing.

Elliott is amazing. Seriously. I know, I know, every parent on earth looks at their little miracles and says the same thing. But, you know, for every parent, it is TRUE. Our children are amazing.

Elliott has recently hit a new developmental level... it's so much fun to watch these developmental leaps. He is currently working on potty training himself. Everyone said to just wait, that he'd figure it out himself... and guess what? He is! It's amazing!

I am so proud of him. Today we were out running errands for nearly 4 hours. He didn't wet his undies one little bit. And it was the first time he had asked to wear his undies out. Believe me, I tried to talk him out of it, but he was adamant: only undies would do. So I packed three extra pairs of pants, three pairs of undies, three diapers in a diaper bag and forgot it at home. So I'm extra glad it worked out.

He does have a little extra motivation to potty train these days... I told him that he can't go to preschool unless he is wearing undies all day and peeing and pooping on the potty by the time preschool starts (which is NOT a lie). And it was at that moment he started peeing and pooping on the potty all the time when we are home and he is bare on the bottom half. He's recently started taking his diaper and pants off to go potty, so we're definitely seeing progress! We may have this licked by September.

Hey, what good is life if you can't get a little goofy?

Size wise, he's doing great. In fact, we regularly get comments now about how tall he is. He seems perfectly normal compared to other three-year-olds to Nate and I, but for some reason, everyone we run into comments on how tall he is and he is often mistaken for a four or even five year old. He's wearing a lot of 4T clothes now, mostly for length, and he still fits into some 2T's for the waist. That'll be easy for summer, at least, we don't have to worry about finding new shorts :) I can't give actual numbers right now since the growth chart was just unpacked and I haven't had a chance to put it up yet. Soon, folks, soon.

And what good is paint, really, if you can't cover yourself in it?

Elliott has recently developed a favorite color. And he is pretty passionate about it. Purple. It's awesome. He LOVES purple. Talks about it all the time, loves any time he finds something neat that is also purple, well, it is love. It is so fun to watch him delightedly notice all the purple stuff around him.

Elliott has a new "baby". Actually, it is his first baby. It is a little cheetah he named (all by himself): Grifford. So Grifford has become a small part of our lives. I need to perform minor surgery soon on his back, which has developed a split seam. Elliott and I have discussed this, and all day today he has been talking about Grifford's surgery.

Meet Grifford, the cheetah.

Oh, and PRESCHOOL!!! So exciting! Elliott has been admitted to Woodhaven School. We're very excited about it. Woodhaven is a co-op, Waldorf-inspired, nature based preschool. He'll be going Tuesdays and Thursdays this next year. During their day at school they spend an hour outside, rain or shine in a wooded area across the parking lot from the school. No playground equipment or anything like that, just dirt, trees, some bark dust and each other. We'll be getting him geared up with the proper gear for this kind of outside play. I'm super excited for him to have the opportunity to have such a great option for outdoor, open ended play. I'm also excited for the Waldorf events, the spiral walk, may pole dance, lantern walk. They seem so magical and I can't wait for Elliott to have those magic experiences. Here is a link for those of you who might want to take a look: http://www.woodhavenschool.com/

Elliott was also diagnosed as having Sensory Processing Disorder. Basically, he doesn't process sensory stimulation in a "normal" manner. We've been going to an Occupational Therapist at OHSU every other week. He has been loving therapy and has been really responding to the therapy. We've been having a great time.

In therapy. Listening to music while working on fine motor skills.

We've been doing a lot of science experiments lately. A couple of the shows he likes to watch (mostly Curious George and Sid the Science Kid) have neat ideas for science experiments you can do with your kids. He keeps asking to do these different experiments. So far we have made a cave of darkness with blankets and a table. Once it was completely dark he asked me to hand him different toys and he would tell me what they were by feeling them in the dark. He did really well. After than he spent a lot of time hanging out in the "cave" with a flashlight.

The Cave of Darkness... can you see him there?

The second was "will is dissolve or not" experiment. I set up glasses of water and gave him 5 options of things to stir in the water to see if they dissolve. We did: salt, sugar, calcium citrate powder, kelp powder and baking soda. He had a great time guessing if it would dissolve or not and then stirring the solution to see what happened.

Calcium Citrate powder did NOT dissolve.

The third one was an ice experiment. We froze fruit in ice and then melted it by pouring hot water on the ice. it was great. Elliott learned all about how water freezes and melts and he had fun feeling the holes and bumps that the hot water made when it melted the ice. Then, of course, he had a great time eating the apples and oranges that had been in the ice.

The fruit frozen into a block of ice.

Getting messy is a big deal in Elliott's world. He is loving the rainy weather we have, for at the least, the mud puddles it creates. We have a low spot in our yard that tends to pool during any rain, so it has turned into Elliott's favorite place to stomp, jump, dig, push trucks and such.

What good is mud if you can't spread it on a glass door?

A boy and his mudpit.

His interests range, but basically the are: race cars, diggers, space, robots, salt mines, cats (especially cheetahs), bouncing, running, donuts, chocolate, baking, building towers, airplanes, helicopters, mixer trucks, asphalt, climbing, throwing, puzzles, painting, drawing, swimming... I'm probably leaving things out, but that's a general idea.

Baking a Red Velvet Cake for Valentine's Day

And probably the best of all, Elliott has for the past few months, telling me he loves me... a lot. So, so sweet to hear your kiddo tell you that.

Love and Marriage

So, before I start any crazy wild rumors, Nate and I are FINE. Really. Totally. Actually, right now I feel like we're in a better place than we've been in a long time. We're good. Totally.

So I've been thinking a lot about love and marriage lately. Mostly marriage. For the past couple of years I've been watching the evolution of marriages around me. It's strange to be in a place where friends, family and ourselves are starting to experience the real hard work part of marriage. Some marriages are making it, some aren't. My heart breaks for those that aren't making it, I'm so excited to see the ones that are thriving. Lots of couple going into therapy, lots of families striving to find their new normals.

I recently posted this article on Facebook: http://blog.oregonlive.com/mytigard/2011/03/the_secret_to_a_long_marriage.html?mobRedir=false

I appreciate the author's (the wife of one of my former co-workers) honesty about thinking about divorce and how every marriage takes work. It's not easy, at all. It is one thing to say in your vows, "in sickness and in health" and "till death do us part" and it's another to live it. Granted, Nate and I haven't experienced anything like a brain trauma, but in our almost seven years of marriage we've definitely had some more difficult times to work through.

But the article makes me wonder do the young starry eyed lovers really get it? One comment I got from an unmarried friend was that the author seemed selfish and cold to think about divorce after her husband's brain trauma. But what I read was that this was a woman who was at the end of her rope. IT IS HARD. IT TAKES WORK. LOTS OF WORK. Sure, no soon-to-be newlywed is going to want to hear the reality of how difficult marriage can be. You want to think that you'll be as in love as you are RIGHT NOW forever and for always. Maybe you will and that is fantastic. But, more than likely, there will be a time when you wonder what you got yourself into and that's when you have to do the work to make sure the marriage lasts and improves.

But is it the starry eyed lovers fault, really? I mean, how in the heck do you really describe how the challenges of marriage. They are so different for every couple. Some couples survive infidelity, some don't. Some couple survive the challenges of raising a family, some don't. Some survive partner sickness, some don't. It all depends on the two individuals in the relationship... how strong they are, how much they are willing to compromise, how forgiving they are, and so many other factors.

For me, all this listening to the marital challenges around me has made me think about my own marriage. And I appreciate my husband more and more. But it has also exposed to me my own shortcomings as a wife. I can be very impatient, I like to win every argument. When stressed, I tend to take my frustrations out on him (think snippy comments, short tempered and such).

I take comfort in knowing I'm not the only wife out there that has felt at the end of her rope. I'm glad to know others find marriage to be constant work, always in need of attention. For me, discovering that we are in no way unusual in our struggles was very comforting. It let me know that I don't have to get all doomsday-y about everything (yes, I can be a bit of a drama queen), and I know that these struggles are normal and that constant maintenance of the relationship is normal and needed.

I've also been able to cut myself some slack. I have been able, through listening to my friend and families stories, that I'm in no way a perfect wife, nor will I ever be. I need to do my best, admit when I'm wrong and learn and work at being more patient and kind. It's basic stuff that I think is so easy, at least for me, to let slide.

So, in the end I am so grateful to the friends and family who have been so candid about their challenges and struggles, who have been so open and amazing. It has helped my own marriage and has helped me become a better (not perfect) wife.

spouse bickering

Today I was witness to a very uncomfortable spousal spat. Elliott and I were waiting for our turn to go sign him into Kid's Club at the gym (he LOVES it and I get a chance to work out... perfect!) Only one parent is allowed at a time in the actual Kids Club area, so you have to wait outside for your turn.

A couple showed up with their three kids. The mom was, well, barking at her husband to sign the kids in, she had to get to class (incidentally, the same class I was going to... the same reason I was patiently waiting my turn). She turned around and very abruptly took off down the hall. The kids, all three, started screaming, "MOM!!!" and went running after her. She turned around and herded the kids back and her husband said something about how they want her to do it, and how they like her better, so she should do it. She said to him, very tersely, "I don't see why you can't figure out how to do this. And wouldn't YOU like me better than you?"

He looked at her and sorta snorted. Then said, "no."

She whipped her head around, facing away from him and said, in a whiny tone, "These kids are SO attached to me."

Then it was their turn to sign in, so the conversation was over.

I found the whole thing to be kinda disturbing on a couple of levels. One, I felt bad for their kiddos. How sad to learn that this is how moms and dads communicate with each other. Second, I felt bad for them. I obviously don't know what is going on in their relationship. It could be that he's cheating, she's pissed. Or maybe she's just insufferable and he feels trapped. Or, maybe they are a couple who, for some reason, thrives on marital tension and equalizes it by having tons of amazing make-up sex. Who knows... I don't really care at any rate.

The third thing is what has been on my mind the most. I know I sometimes talk to Nate in the way I heard this wife talking to her husband. I work so hard, everyday, to be gentle, loving and patient with Elliott, but that means that the tension and stress has to get released elsewhere. And, unfortunately, that sometimes is on my husband. (Just a side note: The gym is helping with releasing this stress... I feel more relaxed than I have in, well, years. But still, I have to admit it still comes out.)

So, I have to thank that couple, wherever they are. Thank them for making me realize that I need to also concentrate on being gentle, loving and patient with my own husband. It is unfortunate that I figured that out by watching another couple's struggle, but I feel fortunate to have witnessed it and to know that I need to work on how I release my own stress... to not let it fall on my husband.

amazingness

I know every parent is blown away by the amazingness of their child. There is something absolutely indescribable about how amazing our children are. I find myself watching Elliott sometimes, absolutely breathless, thinking about when I first realized I was pregnant, and then looking at this PERSON, this thinking, talking, energetic, exhausting and equally exhilarating person.

I watch him scarf down little pieces of pork chop, dripping with bright red ketchup, leaving behind a little bare canyon down the middle of the larger ketchup blob I squirted on his plate and think about how through my entire pregnancy I couldn't stomach pork. Couldn't even look at it without my skin suddenly feeling clammy, my stomach turning flips. Months of no pork in my life. And here is that very baby, scarfing it down with delight.

The day of the birth, I fully believe, is not only a day of birthing your child, but of a mother birthing herself as a mother, birthing a father, birthing a family. Elliott's day arrived 10 weeks earlier than expected, although I had, deep down, been expecting an early baby.

He cried immediately after his little body slid out of mine, his strong little lungs letting everyone around him know what I already knew, he was strong, healthy, and while skinny, was going to be just fine. The little baby who had been torturing my cervix for a month, kicking it incessantly, would never let me, or anyone, forget his presence and what he thought of it.

He'd had so much room to move, so much amniotic fluid that I blew off people's rude comments about my HUGE belly by telling them I was growing the next Michael Phelps; The baby was getting early training. I now watch that strong three-year-old body swim and wiggle, bob up and down during his weekly swimming class and during our weekly fun swim time. His little body exuberantly diving, twisting and kicking. It's like seeing what was happening inside my belly those months.

I look forward to watching him grow, to watch and listen as his opinions and ideas form and develop. Each developmental stage is bittersweet, so exciting to see him accomplish something new and cool, but at the same time, so sad to say goodbye to what has kept him a baby during these early years.

When he drifts off to sleep, I often kiss his cheeks over and over so I can feel his soft baby skin and feel the springiness of his sweet cheeks spring against my lips. I know it won't be forever that his skin will feel that way or that his sweaty hair will smell so good. It won't be forever that he'll seek out my body at night, snuggling right up against me, curling up perfectly against me as we lay chest to chest.

I'm concentrating on drinking it in, holding onto those moments because I know soon enough it will go away and it won't come back and we'll be on our way to another amazing stage.

we moved!

Sometimes I can barely believe it actually happened, other times, our new house feels so familiar that it seems like ages ago we loaded our stuff into a big truck (with movers help and a huge dose of MIL power) and trucked it from North Portland to the farthest Southeastern corner of Beaverton you can get to.

But we are here. We've upgraded in square footage and in lot size. We have one more bedroom, one more full bath. The house is older, built in 1963, and has enough projects to keep us busy for a long time. But it is so much fun to dream. A lot of our conversations these days start with, "Someday, not right away, but someday, I'd like to do x, y and z."

Elliott's transition into a new house has been good, bad, okay. It really depends on how he is feeling at the moment. It is getting better, definitely, but it's not yet great consistently. He still talks about the old house and when he gets upset, mad or is beyond himself exhausted, he always wants "the old house." We hear things like, "I don't want the new house. I want the old house. Let's go to the old house." It is getting better, we're hearing that less and less during meltdowns, but he still refers to this house as "my new house." I guess someday it'll just fade into "my house" and that's when I know he really feels at home.

He also asks to go to the "old library" pretty regularly. The Beaverton City Library has a pretty amazing selection of books and Elliott seems to really like the puzzles and such that they have for the kids, but he still asks for the old library. He recently decided that a "smash ball" smashed up the old library, so we'll see if he keeps asking for it.

We have been loving the extra space. One huge benefit of the new house's space is the family room in the basement. We have a livingroom on the main level and a daylight family room downstairs. That means Bear has two couches to sleep on and she basically moves from one to the other all day. She likes to bark at people and dogs walking by upstairs and she monitors squirrel and the next door neighbor dog activity while downstairs.

Ditte has been pretty brazen since moving. We aren't sure exactly what the reason for this is, but think it has to do with a few things. Our house is three levels, so Ditte has the upstairs to herself, and Bear has the lower two levels. Ditte is okay to come down when she wants, but we try to keep the upstairs as her level only. We think that since there is the family room downstairs and Bear spends time down there, Ditte feels safer exploring the lower levels. Also, we're pretty sure Ditte has figured out that Bear is getting older, doesn't hear as well as before and might be less scary than before. We've actually seen Ditte stand her ground and growl at Bear from the stairs and refuse to move even though Bear was barking and barking at her. It has been pretty interesting to watch the two of them hash out their territory, at the least.

The yard is pretty exciting here. We have a .19 acre lot. Our old house had a .06 acre lot. So we have a little more than tripled our lot. So for us, that's pretty darn exciting. This year I wouldn't expect to see a ton of gardening from us, we've decided to see what is already here and make decisions on what to keep, what to get rid of and what should go where. Nate has his eye on a couple of trees that he's not sure are placed well (too close to the house and to the gutters), I am looking forward to seeing what sprouts and what all these bushes and such look like once they leaf out.

The kitchen is interesting.... the stove is, I think, original to the house. The counters are avocado green and the cupboards are dark wood. I really like the layout of the kitchen, but outlets are seriously shorted. We have 2 outlets in the kitchen work areas. One of which is behind the stove and the other is at the end of the counter, so it's not great for the real workspace. I have to use extension cords right now to use the mixer and food processor and such. Kinda a pain, but we're figuring out what the "must haves" are for a future kitchen re-do.

So I'm going to post some pics now, but will update the photos in a future post so folks can see what it looks like now. These are pics from my phone that I've taken over time since we moved at the end of January. Hope you enjoy!

The livingroom. It looks different now, we've put the run in the family room and the mantle has different stuff on it, but you get the general idea.

The outside of the house. It looks small from the front, but the back of the house is two levels, with the main (what you can see here) is the middle level.

The backyard. Behind where I was standing to take this pic, the yard bends around the corner of the house. We're on a corner lot, so we get a lot of side yard too. Notice the big covered porch. We're excited about that.

Family room! We've divided it into two areas, one is the tv viewing area, the other side is the play/creative space. Elliott and I do art projects in that space and we've since unpacked his playmat where he plays with his cars and little people toys. This family room has been an amazing space for us.

A nice view of the house from a different angle. I took this recently while walking Bear. Nate and Elliott were outside washing the car and Bear and I were returning home and I decided to snap this picture. You can get an idea of how big the trees are in our neighborhood and of our corner lot.

Bear monitoring the neighborhood. She spends a lot of time like this and lets us know every single time a person walks in front of, across the street from and kitty corner from our house.

And, lastly, I can't have a post without posting something of Elliott. here he is painting in our creative space. We are in the process of painting a bunch of pre-cut out robots for decorating his bedroom, but as you can see, Elliott turns any painting project into full body/full contact art. I basically have to always allot for a bath after any art project.

Thanks all for looking... I hope that by "promoting" our blog on our change of address cards that more family will check out our blog and that'll motivate me to update here more often. Especially for those not of facebook, it would be a great way for you all to keep in touch with what is happening in our little family.